Vancouver Dating by Matchmaker and Dating Expert Sheree Morgan

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Can Love Grow From Friendship?

November 3rd, 2011 by Sheree Morgan
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In  theory I agree with  this poster about love but I also feel compelled to add to this mindset.  I have learned  through experience that just because a relationship starts with a blinding hot fever of passion does not mean there is a lasting love attached. Sometimes it is just that,  blind passion! That’s OK if a night of passion is all you are looking for but if you desire a lasting romance and true love you might need to look further.  Often a relationship that starts out like a raging fireball runs out of fuel quickly, fading away leaving nothing behind but the scared ruins. Why? Because there was no substance, nothing to keep that fire burning!

I have learned that we do not always recognize love or chemistry immediately. Sometimes the deepest and truest love can grow where you least expect it, from a tiny ember that slowly builds over time until it completely envelopes you with a blanket of warmth.  I know of what I speak and trust me there was no one more surprised than me, even though everyone else seemed to see it all along! :)

Most people tend to think we know almost instantly if there is a possible physical connection and unfortunately we often confuse that passion with love. After years of making the same mistake over and over I discovered that love and passion can grow over time! A dear friend of mine had told me many years ago that sometimes it can grow out of friendship and I believe my comment was, “I have never seen it happen, I don’t think so! ” But I have been proven wrong!

In today’s instant and online world we have all become impatient and often expect to know deep passionate love immediately without putting in any time or effort to see if you even like them.  Sometimes we place people in our friendship status rather than a loved one because we overlook their true potential or thinking we need something else. Often it is our past experiences or beliefs that impede our vision. Blind lust or what we may perceive as passion can confuse us and drive us into making wrong choices and we ignore what feels comfortable right from the get go. Think about your best friendships, there is usually a true comfort with each other,  admiration,  respect, appreciation,  empathy, kindness, consideration of each other, a joy of sharing things and times with each other (good and bad).  Unconditionally!That’s why they are your best friends right? Aren’t those the things you want in a lasting love?

Some of us are so afraid of losing that friendship that it holds us back, but what if you are both shortchanging yourselves? What if there is more a lot more? If you are both open it may also develop into that Mad Passionate Extraordinary Love we all want! If someone is important enough for you to want to keep them in your life as a friend maybe there may be something more or they may infact just be a friend. :) Just in case, it might be worth a second look!  

Have you ever had love grow from a friendship? How long did it take you before you realized what you had? I would love to have your comments on this subject. 

www.match-works.com

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Cancer can strike anyone! Have it checked NOW!

August 25th, 2011 by Sheree Morgan
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Couple - supportI know this is a dating and relating blog but I would like to talk today about another subject that is near and dear to my heart. CANCER! If even one person reads this, gets checked and catches something early then I will be ecstatic!

Today I took part in an activity on Facebook that was  indirectly supposed to cause awareness for breast Cancer, I immediately got a very angry e-mail from someone saying it was a slap in the face to anyone that has suffered with Cancer.  I do understand her anger, because Cancer is brutal but I thought it was misplaced. I realized that her anger was not with me or facebook but with Cancer itself. My thought process is that any time we create awareness about this horrible disease it is a good thing, even if it is done with a seemingly silly method.  But I thought maybe I could do a little more.

If you look at your family and friends I will bet you have many people who have been touched by this nightmare.  Personally at age 6 I lived with my grandmother  for a year before she died infested with it (there was no awareness in those days). My mother (breast cancer) and uncle (prostate cancer)who caught it early, battled and won the fight.  My nephew who was diagnosed at age 4 with childhood Leukemia,  he was given radiation, chemo, a bone marrow transplant which finally put him into remission and he died a few weeks later from a cold because he had nothing left to fight with.  My Step grandfather (prostate cancer) who went undiagnosed till too late and lost his battle. Three dear friends (various female cancers) who fought with all their available strength but succumbed in the end.  I myself have already dealt with A typical cells and had early detection treatment with great success,  thank god, because I was aware!

Cancer is a bitch and does not care if we are male, female, whatever age or religion, it hurts everyone it touches. The best chance anyone has is early detection. I am not saying running around yelling that the sky is falling all the time, but be aware of your own body. Have a pap test, have a mammogram, have a prostate exam, check any lump that you discover, pay attention to that mole or brown mark, be aware of any lump or change in your breasts including an inverted nipple, if you are  rapidly losing weight, bruise easily all of a sudden, are feeling tired a lot or any notable change in your body, get it checked! Every one of us has lost someone to this horrible disease, it has to stop! I know it can be scary or you may think I will do it later when I have more time. DO NOT WAIT AND THERE IS NOTHING SCARIER THAN FULL BLOWN CANCER!  If you have anything of question make that appointment today! Please I beg of you! Your friends and family will thank you! http://www.cancer.ca/~/media/CCS/Canada%20wide/Files%20List/English%20files%20heading/Library%20PDFs%20-%20English/Early-Detection-Women_2011.ashx

http://www.bccancer.bc.ca/PPI/Screening/default.htm

http://www.cancer.org/index

http://www.cancer.org/Healthy/FindCancerEarly/index?ssSourceSiteId=null

 

www.match-works.com

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Chemistry ……….my favourite subject!

July 22nd, 2011 by Sheree Morgan
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I am a die hard fan of So You Think You Can Dance  and recently Sasha and Twitch had this very sexy hip, hop dance number.  If you have not seen it you absolutely must watch, but be prepared it is hot, hot, hot. Now Sasha and Twitch are performers and putting on a show but they certainly did manage to portray that elusive chemistry. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXKFiNfCo-c

See what I mean! (It was even better when I watched it on my TV, you could really see the connection). Let’s talk about that chemistry, most people jump headlong into a  relationship when they find this but is it really a good thing?

Lets break this down a bit, there are actually a few types of chemistry:

Sexual chemistry is based on a mutual magnetic, euphoric, animal like attraction that is based on physicality and sometimes nothing more. (some people refer to this as their type). It can make you feel invigorated, energetic,vibrant and powerful. It can also leave you feeling helpless to resist but it can be short-lived if it is the only connection. I refer to this type of chemistry as train wreck or roller coaster chemistry. Like an out of control ride it may feel overwhelmingly exciting and intoxicating and often blinds you into making bad decisions. Unfortunately this feeling  can come to a screeching halt at the end of the track. What started out as a great ride often ends up with a pile of bloody carnage and broken hearts. If you are over 35 you probably know exactly what I mean! I have taken this ride a few times, but I think I know better now. Don’t quote me on this. I have learned never to say never. :)   

Romantic chemistry is similar but can also include intellectual, creative, emotional, and or spiritual connections as well. This attraction is often linked to some similar positive and negative personality traits to important figures in our earlier life (unfinished emotional baggage). Not always a good thing, it can become toxic.

Toxic chemistry can often cause couples to break up and get back together in hopes of trying to resolve this unfinished emotional baggage. But if we are emotionally mature and willing to work through the issues, it is also what draws us in and makes us want to make the effort. The positive is the more obstacles, trials and tribulations we overcome as a couple, the deeper our relationship grows.

Most people say they always know if there is chemistry right away and I would have to say for years I believed that. But sometimes it can grow and evolve out of friendships, shared values and similar backgrounds. Either way we should try to remember that chemistry although wonderful is not the only thing needed when considering a possible relationship. If you feel it immediately make sure and keep your head about you, while you get to know this alluring creature. It is just as important to check for timing, personality compatibility, similar activity levels,  life goals, life paths, as well as family values and core beliefs.  I look for these things when matching my clients before I introduce them, so if they have sexual chemistry when they meet, they have a great shot at a relationship.  I believe it is why my matched clients have had such good results.

Author Barbara De Angelis  of Are you the one for ME?  has a few great questions to ask yourself about your potential partner.

If this person never changed one iota for the rest of their life, could you stay with them and would you be happy?

Would you like to have a child exactly like this person and would you be proud of them?

Great questions and pretty simple to answer aren’t they?

Ah Chemistry, it makes your potential partner exciting, stimulating, and so alluring, just try to make sure you keep your head long enough to see if you also like them. :)

 

www.match-works.com  If you would like to start your own search call me directly at 778-330-1204.

Or You may be a match for someone I am searching for already, if you have not sent me your profile, what are you waiting for? http://www.match-works.com/Application.html

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Grateful For Love?

July 21st, 2011 by Sheree Morgan
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Couple in kitchen 

Recently I read an interesting article about  a study that found “couples that are grateful tend to be happier and share a deeper longer lasting love”.  This information came from  Cameron Gordon an assistant psychology professor at the University of North Carolina. The study being published in a issue of the journal Personality and Individual Differences, included 50 couples who were together an average of 20. 7 years, with participants ranging in age from 21 to 67. Cameron Gordon and his co- authors asked them to fill out a daily questionnaire for two weeks and then examined the connection between their feelings of gratitude, their expressions of thanks to their partner and their overall satisfaction with their relationship. 

The statement made me ask, which comes first, are we more grateful and happier because we have a deeper relationship, or if we were more  grateful for our partner  would that help us to build and maintain a deeper, happier, more loving relationship?  Which comes first the chicken or the egg? I think it brings us back to that old thought process that “Happiness is a Choice”! Being grateful can also be a choice! So if we were more grateful for our partners wouldn’t that  in turn make our partners feel more loved and appreciated and more inclined to return the love. Isn’t that what we all want to be loved and appreciated by our partners? So maybe it all starts with being grateful!

With the  ease of the internet, reaching out online and “virtually” touching someone has become so immediate it has resulted in a throw away mentality and unrealistic expectations. This misconception has given people the idea that there is someone out there that they will never ever have to do any work to maintain a relationship and that is just not a reality. NO matter how good of a match someone is for you, YOU WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFORT IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN IT. Sorry but it is true. Any relationship in your life that is worth while takes an effort on both sides. The  positive outlook on this is  “you do it because you want to, not because you have to”. 

I always look at how realistic people are about a relationship before agreeing to take them on. If they tell me there is someone out there that they will never have an argument or disagreement with I tend to think they are being unrealistic. If you never have a disagreement with someone it is because there is no passion and if you have no passion for anything  just think how boring that would be.  My first marriage was exactly that, we never ever fought or had any difference of opinions because he  never seemed to have any.  I made every decision, even when I would beg for his opinion he would say “whatever I want was fine”.  That may seem like a wonderful thing but it really isn’t.  What I wanted was his opinion and participation, Obviously the marriage ended. But  it makes me wonder if I had just been more grateful for him maybe things would have been different.  Don’t get me wrong when I married him I  thought I was or I wouldn’t have married him, but over the years I got bored with his lack of participation and lost respect for him. I have to ask,  how could I have maintained being  more grateful? He seemed to be grateful for me at the time but not enough to share his true feelings, he could not always have been in total agreement with me? I have learned over the years that no one values a doormat and that really loving someone means we need not be afraid to be honest and tell them if we don’t agree with everything they say or do.  Even though we become a couple does not mean we need to loose our own individuality, that is who they fell in love with. In the long run it is the trials and tribulations that we overcome together that actually bonds us even closer allowing us to be happier and isn’t that something to be grateful for? Like I said before which comes first?

nwww.match-works.com

 

 

 

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Have you done your inventory recently? Maybe it’s time!

July 5th, 2011 by Sheree Morgan
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Couple - supportI often write the how “we are all responsible for our own happiness”, well this is part of that same thought. When was the last time you looked internally and took your own inventory? Has it been awhile or maybe never.  How are your relationships? Are they where you want them to be? If not, what are doing about that? Sometimes we have to make adjustments in our thinking or behaviours in order to make our relationships better. It is always easier to blame everyone else for our troubles but real wisdom will find you looking a little closer to home.  I would like to share with you one woman’s path of discovery! 

Recently a friend (J.G. Hakin)  gave me a copy of her book “Essence of a Woman”  to read and I must say I was pleasantly surprised. As I have always regarded her as an intelligent strong willed woman I expected a good read but was remarkably impressed.  As I turned the pages she exposed herself completely while  she explored, learned, healed and accepted lessons from her past loves and loses. The end result was an brilliant story full of heartache, trauma and sadness amid all the  happiness and joy she could uncover. I found her writing  to be intelligent,  brutally honest yet believable,  flavoured with her comedic and sometimes biting wit. There were times when I laughed out loud and was moved to tears in the very same sentence. But that is life in it’s truest form! Life is often  funnier and stranger than fiction, it all depends on how you look at it. To steal one of the lines she quoted in her book “Well behaved women rarely make History” originally quoted by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.  Unfortunately, this is true, no one really cares how good you are, they only pay attention when you mess up!  Why is that? I guess people consider being good all the time boring!  After reading her story I wouldn’t say she was boring but I also wouldn’t say she was all that different from most of us.  Everyone has a story just the people, places and times may differ. It takes great courage to share yours with the world as she does.

By the time we become adults we have all made mistakes or we have not lived or loved! Or  perhaps we are just lying to ourselves! :)  No ones life was or is perfect, it’s what we make of it that counts. But we can all get comfort in knowing we are all perfect in our own imperfections.  Hopefully we have learned some things along the way, sometimes it takes a couple times to get the lessons.  But if we are open minded and receptive we eventually get it! If you are truly honest when looking at your life and past relationships you will find there are always two sides to any story and often they look nothing like what you think they were. Isn’t that a kick in the butt!

I think it’s interesting that she writes “she wasn’t considered a  normal child”  because I feel she is one of the most normal people I have ever met, but maybe that’s because I too was not considered “a normal child”! What is normal anyways? If you happen to come from a TV version of  a “Happy Days” family with two strong supportive parents  and most of your needs were met consider yourself one of the very privileged. But for the majority of us  non-normal people we struggled, fought, wiggled and blindly made our own paths and hopefully didn’t scar too many other people along our way. To anyone I hurt along the way while struggling, I do apologize!  

If you are looking for an entertaining read full of discoveries, relationships, emotional and physical struggles, a little sex of course  spiced with a  witty sense of humour “Essence of a Woman” by J.G. Hakin is a great choice. Who knows you might just learn something about yourself while reading her story!  Or it may set you on your own path.  http://www.jghakin.com/the-story/ 

PS.  I found it interesting that the day I sat down to write this post I took time out between editing to watch “Gene Simmons Family Jewels” and Surprise, Surprise even Genie was looking back at his past relationships in order to move forward with his current ones. Enlightenment is not limited to women only! HMMMMM, It’s a very small world isn’t it? Maybe it’s just a good time to evolve! I wish you all the best of luck on checking in and improving your relationships going forward. YOU have the power! :)

www.match-works.com

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Vancouverites show their love!

June 17th, 2011 by Sheree Morgan
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254446_10150206208832525_523087524_7519319_6818397_nAs we all know this week’s Stanley Cup final ended in a terrible defeat and though we all felt the let down, we forgot to celebrate that we were good enough to be in the finals and take on the Champs, the Boston Bruins.  Our Vancouver Canucks gave it a good run but quite honestly Boston played a better game in the seventh. Maybe they wanted it more, who knows but I  do know disappointment is not a reason to riot!  As we all know though, that is exactly what happened!

I could not believe my eyes when I saw the  special news alert flash across my  TV screen right after we lost the game.  I saw a car on fire and  people rioting  and immediately thought I was watching a clip from Syria or some other poor county being torn apart in violence. Oh my god, wasn’t that Georgia Street and weren’t those people wearing Canucks jerseys? I sat up and moved closer to the screen and then looked out my window and sure enough there was black smoke billowing up amid my view of my beautiful city.  I guess it should not have been such a surprise considering how much alcohol probably had been consumed by that time. At 12 noon I had witnessed hundreds of young people lined up in the entrance way of every restaurant in Yaletown and the ones inside were already heavily drinking. It is exactly why I decided to stay home rather than venture out into the crowds to watch the game. Drunken crowds are not my comfort zone.  I was soon to have a reminder why!~

I don’t want to glorify what those drunken idiots did, as we all know they have been well covered thanks to cell phones, social media, print publication and television.  Enough about the rioters, I seriously don’t care about them and  the VPD is hot on their trails thanks to all of the  media sources mentioned above. I hope that they get everything they so rightly deserve.

The people I do want to pay homage to is the true Vancouverites that came out the next day to clean up the rioters mess. Armed with bags, brooms, dustpans and rubber gloves Vancouverites came  in droves to sweep up the glass and garbage and wash of the filth and charred remains of the night before. It broke my heart to see what they had done to my beautiful city but it warmed it again to see everyone chipping in happily to try to reclaim some of our pride and joy. Those women, men and children are what Vancouver is all about! They are the ones that should be glorified not the drunken, testosterone  driven idiots that defamed our city. I for one was very proud to be a part of the cleanup crew and will always remember those faces. All of you that helped, take a bow, you should be so proud of yourself! Lest we not forget the VPD and VFD, the riot squad and all other police and fire depts that risked their lives amid the destructive, angry croud, we thank you! To the Vancouver Canucks  we are so sorry we didn’t applaud all the work  you did to get to second place and we will be behind you again next year! Hopefully we can ALL behave a little better!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Post-Riot-Clean-up-Lets-help-Vancouver/215683225132481

http://www.facebook.com/#!/media/set/?set=a.215834148450722.58401.215683225132481

http://www.theprovince.com/entertainment/Cleanup+begins+riot+struck+Vancouver/4958755/story.html

http://www.theprovince.com/entertainment/real+face+Vancouver/4964597/story.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpsxAdLLQ2Q

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www.match-works.com

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It’s time to Socialize with the Canucks!!!!!

June 1st, 2011 by Sheree Morgan
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016If you subscribe to my blog regularly you will know I am a huge advocate of getting  off social media and getting out and about, if you want to meet anyone new. Since our hardworking Vancouver Canucks have taken us into the Stanley Cup Playoffs, now is the perfect time!  This is a perfect excuse to get out and socialize. Almost every restaurant and or bar has a giant TV or two or three and you can pretty much guarantee they will have the games on.  Ladies I guarantee there will be plenty of men watching the games! Yes, they may be flanked by all their buddies but that just gives you more to choose from.

It is not enough just to go out, you have to actually socialize while you are out there. Does that mean stand in the corner and get liquored up all by yourself and hope that some wayward man or woman will trip over you as they walk to the bathroom.  No, It means keeping your head up, even in between periods and connecting with the people beside you or at the bar. Please keep in mind not to over celebrate, no one is impressed with a drunk slobbering all over them. If you are barely able to string two words together, or have to use us to keep upright, you are not giving us the best first impression. No matter how much fun you may think you are having, no one finds it a turn on! Hey, I am being honest, I am trying to help you out here!

Keep in mind someones true personality will come out under the influence, so if they show you they can drink to excess,  pay attention!  If they flirt with the waitresses continually, get  overly rowdy or  use crude or rude language, swear a lot, you can expect the same behaviour later. As I said when someone shows you bad behaviour, pay attention! Also check out their friends it can often tell you alot about them. If their friends are serious partiers  obnoxious, chances are….. Friends usually hang out with friends with similar personalities.

OK,  I have told you what not to do, here’s what to do! Make sure you are positive and smiling! Men and women are all attracted to confident, positive forces of energy! Women you are at a sporting event so maybe skip the ball gowns and  tiaras. Here is a perfect excuse to wear your jeans and comfortable shoes or boots. (just make sure those jeans fit your assets, not skin tight, but they should enhance your figure) If you have a Canucks jersey, wear it, men have alway had this  fantasy of a beautiful women in a sports jersey and nothing else (of course). Keep your makeup and hair simple too as it completes the fantasy.  Men make sure that you are clean and presentable too, no women is ever turned on by a dirty t-shirt or jersey or baggy jeans.  Right after your smile it is the second thing we check. :)  Yes,  women do check your butt out! We just happen to be a little more discrete than most men are! :)

You are now armed with some great information to help you socialize and here is the most important! Socialize with no expectations, talk to everyone, do not limit your conversations, you might be surprised the connections you make or you may just have a great time or conversation (which is also great). The game will give you many things to talk about! What about that last play, who is their favourite player, what do they think the score will be, how many games will it take for us to win the Stanley Cup? If you  really do connect with someone make sure you get their number. Only do this  if you are going to call,  if you have no intention on calling them please do not say you will and then not bother. 

On that note, let’s all get out there and cheer on our favourite team the Vancouver Canucks! It is our time! WE know you can do it!  Let’s Go Canucks!

www. match-works.com

PS. I live in Yaletown, so please keep in mind that a lot of people live here. Make sure that your partying and celebrating is done in good fun and please leave our neighbourhood just  as you found it. Take your garbage with you, you probably wouldn’t like people throwing their crap or broken bottles all over your yard. We also have to get up for work in the morning and need some sleep too, so please stop blowing your horns and honking by11:00pm, Our neighbourhood appreciates it! Have fun, but be considerate to everyone! We all appreciate it! Be safe out there!

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Why do men in power cheat?

May 19th, 2011 by Sheree Morgan
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x10231330Here we go again one more powerful celebrity found cheating on his unsuspecting long-time wife. In case you have been living in a cave I am referring to Arnold Schwarzenegger.  I have written about cheating husbands before but this group of men seem to feel entitled to . I want to say outright that my heart goes out to his wife Maria Shriver and their children, I can only imagine what they must be going through. On top of the obvious pain of betrayal they also have to deal with the entire world watching. It’s not like the cheating habit is unusual within the Kennedy clan but seriously does it have to be every household and in their own home? Arnold and his mistress lived for over 13 years with this information right in front of Maria and her children. Maria unwittingly shared her day to day life with his mistress (their maid) for over 13 years! She celebrated with her, sent her presents for the birth of her child when they both delivered his babies within the same month. I’m sorry but that is beyond any betrayal that is COLD and HEARTLESS for all concerned.  I realize sometimes people make mistakes and we are only human but to continue on like nothing happened? For god’s sake couldn’t he have had some balls and owned up to his error in judgement? Yes chances are Maria would have left him and rightly so but to allow her to have to this woman in her home amongst her family for so long is beyond comprehension. Maybe I am completely off base but I don’t believe anyone could cheat so blatantly in their own home and honestly love their partner. Love and Respect go hand in hand and I don’t believe you can cheat on someone you honestly Love and Respect! Why couldn’t he just own up to it when it happened, not 13 years later. My theory is these cheating bastards want their cake and eat it too! Damn the consequences! They are selfish, egotistical spoiled brats who have an elevated sense of entitlement with no concern for their supposed loved ones!  I can only sympathize with Maria and her children. The humiliation, disappointment and mistrust has to be overwhelming! It is so sad for all concerned. I wish them the absolute best while they try to deal with this atrocity. 

What about Arnold’s other son who has been living a life not knowing who his father was and never being included as part of his family all this time. I never knew my father so I know first- hand how awful that feels. It’s not that my father didn’t know about me, he did, but it was my parent’s decision for him to stay removed from my life.  Why because it was easier for them, but certainly not for me! Who has the right to make that decision? Unless the parent in question is abusive there is no reason both parents should not be a active part of a child’s life. (You were the ones stupid enough to have unprotected sex! You are responsible for the well being of the conceived child no matter what!) Just because Arnold wrote cheques does not make him a responsible person or parent.

So why is cheating so rampant amid celebrity and political families? What about IMF chief and French presidential candidate Dominique Strauss-Kahn?  Why do these men have such inflated egos that they believe they can do anything they want? Why do they feel they are entitled to any woman they want? Don’t even get me started on the alleged rape charges, that is a whole other post! They have to know they will get caught and their supposed loved ones will bear the brunt of the burden.  We just got over Tiger’s multiple indiscretions when we were bombarded with Jesse James dalliances.  We all watched as Jesse apparently apologized to Sandra  Bullock and now he is back in the limelight slamming her one more time. I guess he wasn’t getting enough attention on his own! For god’s sake please have some respect and consideration for someone who once shared your life and was stupid enough to love and trust you. Stop blaming the world for your mistakes. Look at how many men with any sort of power or authority have gone down this path. Unfortunately it seems with power comes abuse!

As a professional my best advice to women is stay away from Celebrities, Athletes,Politicians and any man in a position of power or authority if you are looking for a honest faithful husband. I realize they don’t all cheat but the temptation seems to be overwhelmingly hard to ignore. Those men need to remember “just because something is served up on a platter doesn’t mean you have to indulge”!

I’d like to invite all the men that don’t cheat on their partners to take a bow, It’s sad that only the cheating men get attention. You are the ones who should be written about in the tabloids, you give us women hope! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! We do appreciate you! You should be proud of yourself!  

www.match-works.com

I realize there are a lot of women that cheat and I will talk about that in another post.

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Ready or Not!

May 12th, 2011 by Sheree Morgan
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heartsAre you ready for love, really? I meet people every day that swear to me  they are ready for love but the truth is they are not always. Some of you  believe if you never open your heart you can’t get hurt, right? Wrong!    So let’s look at what the term “being ready” entails or more importantly what it doesn’t. 

Are still angry at your ex? If you are, sorry, but you are not ready for love yet.  Why are you still angry?  Do you have unresolved issues? Do you still care in some  obscure way? If you don’t trust the opposite sex, why not?  Do you know for sure all the men or women in the world are liars or cheats? Are you sure  all members of the opposite sex are bound to hurt you?  Why do you think that? Please remember not all men or women are the same, thank god.  :) If someone treated you badly, please remember it was that man or woman, not all men or women.  Are you worried potential partners will not like you, why not? Do you believe you are an amazing catch and anyone should be happy to have you in their lives…… if not, why? Sometimes, when we vent about others we are actually looking for someone else to blame for our own unhappiness.  YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN HAPPINESS!  If you ever want to have a happy healthy relationship you have to start with the person in the mirror, you are not responsible for everyone else’s behaviour, but you are solely responsible for yourself.

If you have just come out of a  long term relationship, you are not ready! No matter what you tell yourself! Rebounding into someone else arms will not take away the pain or confusion. It may do more harm than good. No one wants to carry your baggage or be painted by the same brush! If a new potential love is worthwhile they will allow you  the time to recover emotionally and give you the opportunity to get to know them slowly.  Friends first is a great way to find a true love.

Timing is such a big issue. Even if you find someone who is perfect for you, if the timing is not right,  it will not work! I have had timing bite me in the ass, more times than not and I have to say it hurts!  We cannot expect anyone else to make us happy. When you are comfortable in your own skin, happy and positive on your own, you are truly ready. Don`t forget to make sure your potential partner is also ready. I know it sounds like a lot of work and no one really wants to look at their part in their failures, but it is a necessary so we don`t  keep making the same mistakes.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time. :)

Falling in love can be the most amazing exciting thing, it`s what we all desire and deserve.  I agree it can happen when you least expect it. The last thing  you want is to have it fizzle out or blow up in your face because of unresolved issues or  bad timing.  When you are actually ready to move forward you might realize there  really are alot of amazing women and men out there. Don’t be surprised if they look different from what you pictured your ideal mate to look like though! Yes, I am a hopeful romantic, I wouldn’t be in this line of work if I didn’t believe in it, it’s certainly not for the money!  I work way to hard trying to  find a perfect match for my clients. If I was just after money, I would host an online dating site, sorry,  I digress. :)

If you have any issues you would like discussed here, please let me know. If I don’t have the answers I do have a couple of relationship therapists onboard I can ask. Thanks again for following, if you haven’t yet, you can find the RSS feed link on the front page of this post. Best of luck to you all and be careful out there.

www.Match-works.com

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